April 2009

04/30/2009

Webisode 3

Thanks to the people of LokalBlok for letting us use their internet connection, here is the third installment of the webisodes. It features Alaska Kid in Voralpsee, Barr-bitturique in Gorge du Tarn, and Reve du Papillon in Buoux. Lookout for James' exceptional recovery after practically falling off...

There isn't going to be a blog post for today/yesterday because it's currently nearly 2am and we're only half way through a 5 hour drive to Austria. Once tomorrow arrives there will be a blog describing our overall Czech experience.

In the meantime, enjoy this video.



Untitled from unclesomebody on Vimeo.

04/29/2009

The SSRT so far...

Before embarking on this trip each of us had an idea of how it would go and how we'd end up. This is a mini interview showing just where we're up to at the moment.

The SSRT so far... from unclesomebody on Vimeo.

The real webisode is being rendered and will be uploaded soon!

Big thanks to Hudysport for letting us use their office for a decent net connection!

Into the Unknown

Even though our guide wasn’t due to arrive until 10am and we were desperately tired, our bodies are currently programmed into rising earlier so at 8am I was up and working on getting up to date with the footage. Gaz and James were up at roughly the same time and we enjoyed a relaxed morning of banter whilst waiting for the locals to come a knockin. It’s great to wake up in beautiful surroundings with the sun shining as it makes each day seem a whole lot better when you feel the warmth of the sun first thing in the morning. So far on this trip we’ve either woken up somewhere stunningly beautiful, or by the side of a major highway! Take the rough with the smooth...

Eventually they came out and we set off up to the rocks of Sokoliki. As I wrote previously, none of us have visited Poland before, but this lack of knowledge extends even further as we had no idea what the rocks would be like. We didn’t know if they were big, small, crags, outcrops, towers, rough, smooth, etc. We were quite excited to be checking out a completely unknown place and went in with no expectations. So far, the Polish leg had been the most well organised so even if the rocks weren’t superb it wouldn’t have mattered as we’d had a good time in Poland. Although deep down we were all hoping for something amazing, both for climbing and for filming.

The locals were keen to show us a new route that was awaiting a second ascent, especially since it is the hardest route in the area. I think all locals are proud of their hardest route, as it represents the hardest of what their compatriots have done. I’ve seen it all over the world, a local showing a visitor the hardest/proudest line (often intertwined), even though the visitor may have no inclination/ability to climb it!

Our first sighting of rock revealed to us that we were in area with strange outcrops popping up from the hillside. The rock was a very rough granite and it didn’t look particularly good on the skin. Coupled with the fact that it was rather warm and there wasn’t much wind, the boys were hoping for something a little on the easy side! Unfortunately for them the first route (names something to do with Count Dracula – we didn’t quite understand the translation!) we looked at was the new, unrepeated, one and it was a gently overhanging wall, with small slopey dishes, and only 4 bolts long. Shorter routes mean harder moves and on a day like today it was probably best to avoid hard moves on small sharp slopers, so we continued the tour to the see the next option.

Unfortunately option 2 was a completely eliminate route, avoiding both a corner to it’s right and a rest ledge to it’s left. Option 3 wasn’t much better and so there was no choice but to return to the first and hardest option.

There was a lot of interest in James and Gaz’s performance on this route, for a couple of reasons. As stated above it’s the hardest route in the area and so people are naturally inclined to show interest if someone else is going to try it. Secondly, there was a fair bit of excitement regarding the fact that James and Gaz had come to Sokoliki. It was most definitely the case that today was the most photographers and cameramen I’ve seen during this trip. In fact, at one point, I was struggling to find a perch in a nearby tree due to a number of other people stealing prime position! The early bird always gets the worm...

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They started working the route and James actually came very close to flashing it. Gaz had all the beta but the difficulty was with the conditions. After doing a certain number of moves the chalk on the tips would be gone and sweat would come through rendering any sort of grip non existent. Initially they were both finding it virtually impossible to chalk up the right hand throughout the route but as they refined their movement it became possible to chalk up both hands in a certain position.

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By this point they were taking it in turns to have redpoint attempts, both greasing off unexpectedly amidst the crux moves. The locals had begun to talk (unbeknown to us at the time) saying that they didn’t think either of the boys would do it as the route was just too hard. I’ve seen them both climbing and know them both so if I was a betting man I would have gladly offered long odds that they would both do it. It was clearly only a matter of time and speed before one or both of them would do it.

Gaz’s ascent came first, along with power screams and shrieks. He’d managed to fight the grease and push through, much to the appreciation (and perhaps dismay) of the locals. To put into context what was going on you can imagine going to climb on Gritstone or in Fontainebleau during mid summer with only a small breeze giving you any hope of climbing. The conditions were not very good, so it was most definitely pulled out of the bag by Gaz just before his skin gave out.

James was only an attempt behind and he cruised up the route without too much fuss, once again pleasing and shocking the locals. They’d come for a show and they’d got it! James and Gaz were super pleased not to have to pull on again, but being the slave driver that I am I forced them to redo a couple of the moves for the camera, now that I had access to the tree! Once this torture was over we headed back down to camp for a little suprise. Michal had decided it was time to eat and what better way to eat than with a sausage fest.

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We cooked up some sausages and enjoyed a nice moment around the fire. These moments of downtime and so precious but also so enjoyable. The harder you work the more you seem to enjoy the quiet moments, so each time we have the opportunity to sit around in beautiful locations with friends we really appreciate it. The rest didn’t last too long, as we had a short drive over the border into the Czech Republic...

 

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04/28/2009

Stereotypes

As you can probably guess, we woke up and continued the long drive to Poland. We were taking shifts, which broke the journey down into very manageable chunks. The sights and sounds of the autobahn gave us little to report, with the only break being a strange meal of cabbage and meat in a service station somewhere along the way.The only major cause of celebration was our breaking of the 10000km mark on this trip!

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Eventually we reached the border and entered Poland! None of us have been to Poland before so we were all rather excited to be here. If each country had a stereotype so far, then the one we expected in Poland was beautiful girls. Within 100m of crossing the border Gaz declared his disappointment at the lack of totty lined up along the streets. I’m not sure what he was expected, but our initial sightings were few and far between. The other thing we didn’t see much of was Motorway, which we later found out was due to their being only one motorway in Poland and it’s length is rather diminutive.

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in due course we arrived Wroclaw where Michal (the TNF country manager) came to meet us. It was a warm reception and it made navigating to the climbing wall in Wroclaw much easier! If only every place we visited offered such a service! Once at the climbing wall the plan became clear. They wanted James or Gaz to open a new section of their wall before giving the lecture/slideshow, and Gaz was kind enough to offer James’ services. Ever the showman, he satisfied the crowds by cruising to the top and then took an almighty whipper to speed up his descent.

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The lecture was a very well organised and well attended affair, with over 75 people showing up despite the great Sunday afternoon park lounging weather! There was a DJ on tap who provided a soundtrack to the evening and even a couple of girls from an energy drink company (who unfortunately left 5 mins into the lecture!). The slideshow was well received by everyone, with Gaz and James following it up with a poster signing session.

Once things at the wall were wrapped up we boarded the bus and headed to the rocks! This time we weren’t alone, we had an entourage of approximately 5 cars who were all coming to either hang out, photograph, or film the next day’s climbing. It was cool to see so many psyched people and after driving down a sketchy forest track we settled down for a night’s rest. No alarm set for the morning as the start time was 10am, which was most definitely a lie in for us!

[Ed - all being well there should be another webisode in the next 24 hours so stay tuned!]

04/27/2009

Day of Destruction

The first of the possible disasters was avoided when we arrived at Pfalz at approximately 2am. At least we managed the first of our objectives, and at this point we were taking them one at a time.

The next objective was brought to our attention by the 7am alarm call. As the beep beep beep brought us to reality we all wanted nothing more than to stay in bed. James understood the urgency of our situation so he fell out of bed and put a certain track on, one that was sure to get us up and pumping. As the first bars of Queen’s Breakthrough came out of the speakers I jumped out of bed, ditched my sleeping bag and proceeded to spend the next couple of minutes dancing around the bus. Once the track ended we all fell back on to the seats, thoroughly exhausted. Nothing to do but push on…

We quested to the crag, only having a vague guidebook description so it took a little while to find the rocks and then the route was immediately obvious. Magnetfinger is a short arête with a boulder problem crux that leads into some juggy moves to the chains. It seemed very familiar to me and it was then that I realized it’s like a harder version of Kraite Arete at High Rocks in the UK (with the rock being much better in the Pfalz). All of us were feeling very tired and very hungry, but Gaz and James pushed through unlocking the crux and then dispatching it one after the other. Magnetfinger is a route graded 9+ which is more of a 7c+ than an 8a. Now, the original idea of this trip was to climb the best 8a’s, but after asking around for a route in the Pfalz all the responses we received had Magnetfinger at the top of the list. There is little point in sacrificing a high quality route for a poor one that happens to be half a grade harder, which was the main reason we settled on Magnetfinger. It also helped that this route was first ascended by Wolfgang Gullich, which provided extra motivation as I think he is a hero to many climbers throughout the world.

The deadline for leaving the crag was 11am if we were going to make it on to the next stop in time, so we didn’t too badly by leaving at 11.30am. At this point we were already feeling destroyed, but the next leg was the 4 hour drive to the Frankenjura, which presented the opportunity for 2 of us to sleep whilst the 3rd drove. Before we knew it we were driving on the gravel road leading to Slimline, the super classic line next to Action Direct. Slimline is also one of Wolfgang’s routes, which he did in 1991, the same year he did Action Direct. This was a day of ticking Wolfgang’s classics, which was pretty cool. Slimline is a short route, only 4 clips long, with a boulder problem crux at the start on pockets which leads to steadier moves to the top. James and Gaz were quite worried about doing Slimline for a number of reasons. Firstly they thought it was going to be hard for the grade as it’s a 10- which is more like 8a+, but I assured them that they’d have no problems as I’d been on it several years ago and done the moves. Secondly, they were both on the verge of falling asleep and were barely able to walk from the lack of calories. Gaz went first and whilst he was working the moves James actually fell asleep for a split second, his head hitting the rope as it fell forward. I was starting to get a little worried that the boys were hitting a wall, one which they may not be able to breakthrough. Gaz declared that he didn’t think he would be able to do this route today and this was quite a shock to me. Gaz is a very talented climber and has that magic ability to pull things out of the bag even when it seems unlikely, so to hear him declare it not possible today was a genuine shock. James was looking like a train wreck, shaking before he even pulled on to the route. He went up Slimline from bolt to bolt, doing the moves by the skin of the teeth. He tried to imitate what it would be like to clip the second draw on the lead, but he couldn’t actually hang on to the left hand 2 finger pocket with 1 hand, meaning he couldn’t actually clip the rope on the lead! James came down and declared he wasn’t even doing to bother with having a redpoint attempt. I wasn’t willing to accept this and decided I had to step up to the plate, not in the role of a climber, but in the role of Mr Motivator. I’m a firm believer in P.M.A. (positive mental attitude) and it’s power to make the impossible possible. I’ve known James for a long time, since the beginning of both our climbing careers, so I’ve got a major advantage when it comes to trying to motivate him and help him to get the best from himself.  I told him that his performance was simply not acceptable and neither was his attitude. I knew he could do this route and all I needed to do was make him believe it too. If I could do that I knew he could deliver the goods on the sharp end. After a pep talk or two I told him that he needed to have a redpoint go to warm up again then have another go afterwards to actually send it. He eventually conceded and dug deep within his soul to find the energy to tie on. He set off, made it to the second clip with the clip he hadn’t been able to do on the dog, but psyche powered him up and he clipped it without a problem. He cruised the next few moves getting to the final undercut before falling off due to his power reserves hitting zero! It was an unbelievably good attempt, going from zero to hero just by using a bit of PMA. I knew that he had it in him to do this route and by trying super hard he’d proved it to himself.

It was so great that it inspired Gaz to get back on the route, where he managed to do the moves by utilizing his back 2 in all of the pockets due to his sausage fingers being way too fat. He was able to do the moves like this but it required him to really squeeze his fingers in and that was proving difficult on the redpoint. By now both Gaz and James were really getting tired. It was about 5pm and we had to leave at 5:30pm in order to arrive at the lecture on time, so there wasn’t a whole lot of time.

I reverted back into Mr Motivator mode and this time I knew James had the self belief to make it happen, so he set off. He was really having to try hard on the moves, but he kept going, fighting each move whilst getting higher and higher. He reached his previous high point but it was clear that he had something left in the tank and this time he hit the undercut then reached up to the jugs, pulling over to clip the chains much to his relief. This was probably the greatest ascent of the trip for many reasons. It was probably the hardest route of the trip so far, it was the second route of the day, it was initially dismissed by both the guys as being too much for them at this point of the day, but James really reached very, very deep into the bottom of his hat and pulled it out. Just to show quite how much he’d used his mental toughness, I asked him to pull on again so I could record some of the moves and he genuinely couldn’t hang some of the positions. He’d given everything to get to the top and afterwards he had nothing left. It was inspirational stuff.

Gaz had to stop, his body shaking, his head hurting, and his 100% record broken. This was the first route he hadn’t done, and in my opinion was due to bad circumstances rather than his inability to do it. I think that with a full night’s sleep and a rest day he would have crushed this route despite having to use his back 2 fingers in the holds!

The day was going well thus far and we were in the car at 5:35pm, making our way to the local climbing wall in Forcheim. As we drove to the wall we passed many of Frankenjura’s famous crags and thanks to the beautiful weather they were well populated. The same can’t be said for the climbing wall, which made for an intimate lecture. We may have amazing luck when it comes to conditions, but it’s not so amazing when it comes to organizing dates. The lecture coincided with one of Frankenjura’s biggest beer festivals, so taking that into account it was rather impressive that the audience was a cosy 10 people. 

During the lecture I wanted to get some work done but my body demanded sleep and I fell asleep on the sofa. That’s pretty much the state we’re now in. James is getting fully involved with micro sleep cycles, catching 5 minutes here and there whenever he gets the chance.

The final step of the day was to begin the drive to Poland and that’s exactly what we did. Gaz pushed on for nearly an hour before all of us got our earliest night yet, falling asleep before midnight with an alarm set for a leisurely 9am! Wonderful!

[apologies for the lack of pictures but we're now in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Poland and our internet connection is woeful - hopefully tomorrow will be better for internet]

04/25/2009

To Destruction

The previous post didn’t quite indicate just how the party evolved or ended, which is because it rolled way over into the next day.

Nina and the folks at Minimum had promised us a party but there are different degrees of party. Some people like to party, some people like to PARTY, and some people LOVE to P! A! R! T! Y! It’s impossible to know what you’re walking into when a party is on the cards but we’re always prepared for whatever may come our way.

The previous day I’d been telling Nina that we’d see to it that she was duly rewarded for her assistance in rescuing our trip. I’d asked her what we could possibly do to show her our appreciation, to which she replied with a far too humble “nothing”. At this point James was off dealing with the broken down vehicle so I came up with a plan that he was sure to go along with. I told Nina that she should ask James to repay the favour by first providing her with champagne and secondly to show her the time of her life with a striptease from the two big men of the trip. She went along with the plan and James, being the most obliging man I know, of course agreed. Gaz was easy to get on board as he seems to do almost anything when the camera gets turned on... a true professional!

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This was fairly early on in the night, and afterwards the party was pushed forward by a 4/4 beat, with everyone pulling out their best dance moves. It wasn’t a party of great numbers but those who were there were super friendly and super psyched. This was a very rare moment of hedonism for us whilst being on this trip. We were all determined to enjoy the night rather than think about how little sleep we’d get or how much driving we’d have to do the following day.

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Now that we were in a car we’d been calling forward to people we know in order to try and score a place to sleep and everybody we asked was kind enough to say yes. However, there was one problem with our Alfa, and that was the size. We’d already left most of our stuff behind in the RV but we still weren’t sorted. Leather seats and cruise control don’t make up for things like a kettle and the ability to walk around whilst driving (which is both dangerous and illegal so we never do it!).

To rectify this situation James arose at 7am and boosted off to the hire car office, demanding better service, bigger cars, and a couple of blonde floozies. He managed 2 out of the 3 and vowed that the 3rd would be complete before the trip was out. He returned to the climbing wall with our new ride, which was neither pimping, large enough, or fast. Our new ride was an Opel Zafira!

It was now approximately 9am and we’d all had about 3 hours sleep so we began to brainstorm (badly) about the plan for the day. We had to get to Pfalz, which was 4 hours away, and climb the classic route Magnetfinger. Normally this would be an easy day but without the RV it was difficult to plan where we’d end up staying. Then someone came up with the bright idea of phoning the garage to check if a miracle had occurred and they’d managed to receive the new turbo and fit it. Someone must be keeping an eye out for us as the unbelievable had occurred and the mechanic said it would all be ready for 5pm. This was amazing news but it left us with a serious conundrum. How could we pick up the RV at 5pm and also go the pfalz to climb? At this point an injection of caffeine helped to get the brainstorming into gear and we came up with this genius plan. We’d hang out in Zurich, taking it easy and resting our weary bodies, collect the RV at 5pm, then head straight to the Pfalz. What this meant was that our schedule would be a day behind but this was not in any way acceptable, so stage 2 of the plan dropped onto the table. We’d arrive at Pfalz late at night, sleep for a few cherished hours, then arise at dawn to get on the route. Once James and Gaz had done the deed we’d leave for Frankenjura, which was only a 4 hour drive, then tick the second route of the day; Slimline. After that was dispensed with we’d drive on for another hour to do a lecture and slideshow, followed by the first leg of our drive to Poland. Without a doubt this was a grand plan which could seriously break us, but this is what we decided we must do to get the trip back on schedule. There were many variables that could easily destroy the plan but we were pumped up and ready to take on the challenge. Dare to Dream...

This manic plan had one positive, which was a free day to chill in Zurich. Naturally everyone had their own plan for the day, with James needing to take care of business, Gaz needing to catch up on some of his beloved Yoga, and me to take some pictures;

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Time passed all too quickly and before we knew it we were heading south to pick up the much missed RV. The guys at the garage did a sterling job to replace the turbo in such a short time, also finding time to drop it down on 24’s, add in several plasma screens, a 10000W sound system, and even a hot tub instead of the shower. We doing big pimping, we spending G’s. BIG PIMPIN, thanks TNF.

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We reloaded the van, put the kettle on, and got back on the road to Pfalz. Being back in the van was like returning home after a long trip away. The slowness, the cheap build quality, the gas guzzling, the instability, and the lack of leather were all forgotten about. We had a kettle, we had the ability to walk around, we had beds, we had all of our gear, we had it all. We felt on top of the world again. Ten minutes later it was all forgotten as we settled into the slow lane for the arduous drive to our next destination. The ETA was around 1am and this was the first of the many variables with potential to go wrong over the next 24 hours! To Destruction!  

Event Horizon

As the eager readers may have noticed, there was a distinct lack of a blog post yesterday. This was due to some rather unexpected circumstances, which you’ll read about below. I want to offer my sincere apologies for ruining your day, but I hope that this post will make up for it. This could end up being a very long post, as lots has happened, but I’ll try to communicate it as succinctly as possible (well, perhaps not as succinctly as possible...).

On Wednesday morning we woke up in a random location (as normal) and Gaz took the captains seat to drive us the few hours to Voralpsee. Everything was going well, but at about 50km from the crag I heard a strange noise. It wasn’t the strange noise (or smell) of Gaz or James’ morning display of masculine stupidity, but something that was perhaps more serious. To understand more fully how we’d arrived at this point it’s worth explaining the back story. Early on in the trip I heard a noise from the engine that I wasn’t convinced was normal, and I mentioned to Gaz that I thought there might be something amiss with the turbo. He responded by saying that the noise wasn’t audible if you turned the stereo up, so he did just that and drove on. It definitely didn’t seem like a serious noise, but something that I logged in my mind. Now fast forward to Wednesday morning at about 10am. We’d already been driving for a few hours when the noise suddenly became a little worse, which caused us the great problem of being audible over the music. Within the space of a few km the noise had become louder and rougher, so we did the only sensible thing and pulled over at the next junction.

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The RV had no power and clearly something was wrong with the turbo. Being top class mechanics we opened up the hood and stuck in our heads, only to see a bunch of black hoses connecting various bit of metal. Not much help there. I guessed that the turbo had broken internally and was hopeful that the broken blades hadn’t done any damage further into the engine. We didn’t start it up again and James made the call to Fiat Assistance, who called European Assitance, who called someone else, etc. Whilst James was doing that Gaz was setting some different wheels in motion. When the proverbial fecal matter hits the fan you can rely on Gaz to have the phone number of a girl who can help us out. James got off the phone explaining that a tow truck was coming in approximately 90 mins, whilst Gaz got off the phone explaining that we had a local strong (and pretty) girl by the name of Nina Caprez coming to pick us up.

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So far during this trip Big G has climbed each and every 8a we’ve been to, and a broken down van wasn’t about to stop him questing to Voralpsee to add Alaska Kid to his ticklist. The team had some hard and fast decisions to make so we huddled up and broke out the plan. Gaz and I would leave with Nina whilst James and Mark would stay with the van until assistance arrived. It wasn’t an ideal plan but James is our Dad on this trip so he had to take the responsible role whilst Gaz and I jetted off with Nina to deal with the more fun side of this trip.

We were flying fast and light, although we’d brought some warm clothes since Nina had warned us that it would be cold up there and to expect some snow. How much we’d underestimated what we were getting into would be revealed until we were questing in to the crag.  In the car park there was perhaps 20cm of snow, but most of it had melted. It didn’t look too bad but things only got worse as we got further in.

Below the crag of Voralpsee is a majestic lake which sits in a basin nested amongst tree and snow covered mountains. It’s exceptionally picturesque and in summer I think it would be a stunning location to go rock climbing, but on Wednesday the lake was about 50 percent covered in ice and nearly everything else was covered in snow. The Voralpsee season doesn’t really start this early, but being foolhardy (or brave) we thought it wouldn’t be a problem. The snow was initially ankle deep which was annoying as our feet were getting wet, but not a huge problem. I stopped to film Nina and Gaz walking along the side of the lake in the snow and it turned out to be a good decision. As they were walking I suddenly saw Nina fall waist deep into the snow, her feet actually going through to the water of the lake! One step further it was Gaz’s turn and echoing around the basin were his shouts of frustration blended together with my laughter. Trying to walk sideways up the bank proved impossible as the snow was too deep so they bravely pushed on, constantly falling through the snow before eventually arriving at solid(ish) ground. As funny as it was for me watching this I wasn’t looking forward to actually following them through it, so I was hugely relieved when Nina pointed out the path we should have been on, located slightly higher amongst the trees. I caught them up fairly rapidly, getting nearly as saturated in the process, but we were all having a real adventure so there was no frustration, only enjoyment. It was a nice change to have a mini epic like this to reach a crag when the past few weeks have mainly involved 5-10 minute walks along well defined paths. A change is always as good as a rest, so in a rather strange sense this was quite welcome.

When we eventually arrived at the slightly overhanging wall Gaz and I were shocked by it’s apparent meatiness. This wall is home to plenty of hard routes, with only a couple of them being in the 7th grade. The others are all 8th or even 9th grade routes, so it’s not a wall for punts like myself. Nina is the unclesomebody proclaimed Queen of this wall, having climbed every route except for Speed, which is 8c+/9a! Alaska Kid was Nina’s first 8a which she’d done 5 years ago and this would be her first time on it again, so she was keen to see how it would feel. Gaz had visited Voralpsee many, many years ago and could remember little apart from how incredibly hard a 7c+ had felt when he did it. He was expecting Alaska Kid to feel half a grade harder but Nina assured him it was easier than the 7c+ he'd already done!

The warm up was the 7c route next to Alaska Kid, which Gaz fell off and Nina cruised. Uh oh. Gaz hasn’t fallen off a warm up this whole trip so this came as a real surprise to me. What also came as a surprise to me was how amazingly Nina was climbing, but this wasn’t even the main show. After reaching the top Gaz climbed over to the chains of Alaska Kid and came down the route, inspecting all the holds, trying some of the moves, and brushing the slightly dusty limestone. As Gaz was abbing down he’d actually become confused as to how one climbs this piece of wall as he couldn’t see any holds. Only after realising that the non holds he was looking at were the actual holds did it dawn on him that this may well be the greatest challenge of the trip thus far. Nina tried to encourage him through his dismay by telling him it was much easier to climb upwards than look downwards, which is generally a very true philosophy. Once down to the ground Nina stepped up to the plate and set off. Also surprisingly, she fell off after missing out several holds and using what can only be described as less than non holds. Gaz proclaimed that he’d buy me drinks for life if I could do this route, which at first might seem like a huge insult but it’s not. It was simply a way for him to communicate to me just how tricky this route was!

Gaz’s first redpoint was an impressive affair. He was really trying hard, conjuring up strange reverse guppy rests next to cross through palm smear ones. It was all very technical and if you’re ever in a masterclass with him you should ask him about the rests on this route!

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After resting as much as he could he set off, reaching the top crux looking pumped stupid. His power breathing was coming out and it looked to be over but an amazing moment of contact strength saw him push on for another move. He’d clipped the bolt and the chains were less than a couple of meters away, which is only a small percentage of the route when you consider it’s nearly 30m long. He matched a hold that can only be described as barely big enough for 4 fingers and slipped in a deep drop knee. His elbows were above his head and he only had one move to do to a decent finger jug. This was it, go big or go home. With absolutely nothing left in the tank he tried to summon up the reserves but it turned out that those were empty too and he fell off staring the hold in the face. Just to indicate how hard he’d been trying he couldn’t pull up the rope after he fell off due to popeye forearms!

Nina was up next and what I witnessed next was one of the most dismaying things I’ve ever seen in climbing. To say she cruised it would be an understatement.

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It was pretty much a masterclass in how to climb efficiently and smoothly, using nothing but the required strength and resting exactly the right amount at the appropriate places.

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I knew Nina was a very good climber but seeing it was something else and I actually felt really inspired. I’m not an amazing rock climber, but I’ve tried and managed to do several 8B boulders, but seeing Nina climb made me look at my own climbing and realise just how much of a punt I am! As with anything, finding your weaknesses or shortcomings is the first step and the second step is doing something about it. I’ve had step 1 delivered to me on a plate and step 2 will begin as soon as possible!

I wasn’t the only one who’d been privy to the masterclass and Gaz knew what he had to do. Basically do the same thing as he’d done but arrive at that move with something, anything, left in the tank. The sun was going down and this would probably be his last go of the day so he did what all good climbers do and pulled it out of the bag. It was a fine ascent, beginning with a lack of vision to see the holds and culminating in clipping the chains on only his 2nd go. A quick high five and we were out of there! The worst part of the day was probably putting back on very wet, cold socks and shoes but the thought of a hot shower pushed us through.

One of the many advantages of not having the RV is that we have nowhere to sleep so kind people can offer us a home for the night, and since Nina was doing such a fine job of hosting us she extended the invitation to a fondue and a warm house. It made a refreshing change to get out of the can and into a comfortable sofa, a hot shower, and a cosy environment that didn’t comprise of cheaply made fittings that constantly break.

James had been busy working his magic too, getting the van to a garage, explaining to them the urgency of our plight, and then even had time to sort out a hire car, an Alfa Romeo 159 estate! There must have been something to the leather seats as upon entering the vehicle Gaz and I fell straight into business mode;

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We were now without a home but at least we had transport. The garage had told James that the new turbo may arrive in 1 day or in 7 days, which wasn’t a whole lot of use. We’ve got a tight schedule and we’re going to get it done come hell or high water. This is pretty much what we decided during the evening, making a vow that nothing would get in our way of completing this trip, even if it meant ditching the van and most of our gear, sleeping in the car, and living on bread for the next leg of the tour. In fact, it was a nice moment of solidarity. 

Whilst we may have been in a super nice environment, the hard work followed us, so whilst Gaz was in bed before midnight James and I stayed up far too late editing another video for a possible French TV airing. It’s not a video that will be uploaded to the blog but it is being shown at the lectures, so if you want to see it you should either come to a lecture, come to Melloblocco (which is building up to be a show you will NEVER forget – in the best possible sense), or wait for the DVD. Without giving too much away it inevitably involved tights, shades, and much hilarity.

We woke up in the morning feeling super tired (no change there) but very grateful for a night in a real bed. The day was to be a chilled affair with nothing organised except for a slideshow/lecture at the Minimum climbing wall in Zurich. We made the most of the downtime and soaked up some rays on the terrace, which overlooked a beautiful Swiss valley (aren’t they all?), until it came time to head to the climbing gym.

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Before arriving at an unknown gym we’re always unsure of what to expect. Within seconds of seeing Minimum I knew it was a good gym. The combination of nice holds, nice angles, slackline, fussball table, amazing minimal techno, campus board and free wifi made it pretty much ideal. The guys who run the gym were super cool and all in all it was looking to be a great event. Whilst Gaz and James sat down to work up a new slideshow I decided to do a spot of bouldering. The problems were generally very good and the only ones I thought weren’t very good were the ones I couldn’t fathom due to their complex world cup style! Another weakness identified, another goal set!

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Soon enough Gaz and James couldn’t resist the urge to come and try to burn me off. At first I thought I was going to be the champ for the day but in the end they both did what they set out to do and schooled me on a couple of problems! Nina arrived to show us some more problems and I only become more dismayed when she showed me what problems she’d done.

After a couple hours of climbing it was slideshow time and everyone moved from the wall into the bar area. I’m not really experienced in lectures/slideshows so I’m never sure how they’ve gone. Clearly it’s good when people laugh or get the sometimes subtle jokes that they are presented with, but after the lecture the response was terrific. Everyone was really psyched and it set the tone for the rest of the night. The climbing wall closed its climbing surfaces and opened its dancing ones. The wonderful minimal pounded out and we began to party the night away. We didn’t know where our heads would eventually come to rest as without a van we’re entirely dependent on nice people. Luckily Switzerland is full of them, so we had more than one offer! Balz was kind enough to offer his home but we soon realised that this party was going to go on and on, so Minimum stepped in and told us that we could stay there. Perfect! A party scene until the legs became too tired or the eyelids droopy and then straight to be with no commute! It doesn’t get any better.

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As the hours became smaller and then larger we had a small revelation. So far in this trip we’ve tried to be as responsible as possible, always taking the sensible option when presented with a number of choices. Tonight things changed. We’ve decided that we’re now on a route of maximum rather than minimum. We had the opportunity to party so why not take it and enjoy it? The next day only involved driving to 4 hours to the Pfalz and climbing another amazing 8a route... what’s so difficult about that?  

The Event Horizon has been reached, and once you reach it there is no going back either through choice, luck, or persistence.

04/23/2009

Santana Cham

Finally another day which was supposed to be mainly chilling out, and we all were desperate for a few hours of downtime. It feels as though the trip has stepped up a gear now with barely an hour passing that we’re not climbing, filming, or driving. Several days have seen us only eating one meal due to a lack of time to stop and eat! However, I’m not complaining, this trip is an amazing opportunity and all of us are constantly reiterating to each other how cool it’s turned out to be.

We’d come to Chamonix for the boys to do a lecture and slideshow but somewhere along the line it had fallen through and so the only appointments of the day were with a couple of journalists. Instead of using this day to relax and enjoy the sights of Chamonix we’d instead come up with a concept for what (I hope) will be a very funny addition to the video. We’re currently working with a long list of ideas to spruce up the video, some of which are so far out there that I doubt they’ll see the light of day even if we do film them. The concept that your eyeballs will gaze upon are pretty much guaranteed to get your laughing gears in motion, but I can't guarantee that it will be tasteful enough for the internet, so you'll have to wait for the directors cut on DVD. All being well it should be available at some point in the near future from your local special interest stores.

In the afternoon in between finding props and meeting with the journo we found some time to hit the local crag. Gaz and James are always psyched to find new bits of rock but when we turned up they dropped straight into this completely natural pose which I think communicates what they thought;

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Once we’d found a stable internet connection to upload the webisode from we turned our attention to storyboarding the nights concept. Coming up with funny things is easy when you’re with the right people, and in our case the sum of our comedy parts is MUCH greater than individual parts. We had the concept, we had the vision, now we just needed the props. It wasn’t too hard to find what we needed, phone calls were made, and times were set. What resulted was a combination of fun,debauchery,madness,big pimpin, a realignment of the bro-ho ratio, and an individual’s confession of the night being the weirdest thing they’ve ever done.

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After the heart rates subsided, we were left with only one thing to do, spend hours driving into the night. Leaving at 1am, with a 4.5 hour drive to Voralpsee, we made it a couple of hours before crashing hard, the final act of the night being the setting of an alarm for 7:30am at which point the driving commences again!

04/22/2009

How Apt

We arrived in Apt late at night with stomachs full of excitement but devoid of food. That’s one drawback of all this travelling, we don’t often get to stop and eat regularly so we end up eating snicks and snacks throughout the day, which means that come late evening we’re starving. Tonight was the same and we cruised around Apt looking for something to eat. Asking the locals provided no help and we were hit with a reminder of what it’s like to be in France once again. At home we’re used to being able to get pretty much anything at pretty much anytime, so not having that is a change. In the entire town there wasn’t a single place serving food!

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Waking up in the morning we were all in psyche mode. It’s not everyday you get to come to such a historic crag, where your heroes once climbed what were the hardest routes in the world. Buoux was home to the first 8a and 8b in France, along with Agincourt, the first 8c in the world and first climbed by Ben Moon. The first 8a, Reve de Papillon, was bolted and climbed by the Le Menestrel brothers and was our goal for the day.  It’s a fairly compact route, divided into a boulder problem start to a good resting jug and then a moderate top section. Gaz had climbed the route before, but watching him trying to remember beta was like watching a goldfish trying to remember what it ate for dinner yesterday. He basically relied on general routefinding skills to decide what sequence to use, then set off.

Having done a route before can make for a psychological boost in my opinion, thus making it more likely for an easy repeat. With his best tights on, Big G made Reve de Papillon look every bit as excellent as I’d always imagined. He reached the half height jug and whilst hanging there recovering he suddenly discovered an unknown (to us!) rest;

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Once rested he shot up to the top and bagged a good retro flash of the route. On the way down he marked up the holds and explained a very detailed sequence of moves to James, who was doing his best to mimic each and every move. When Gaz eventually reached the ground, James had all the beta and there was nothing left but to tie on and see if the beta would work.

At the end of the initial traverse section James’ feet cut loose right in the middle of a hand movement and suddenly all his weight fell onto the pocket his right hand was in. It looked like that would be the end of his flash attempt, but by utilising some cat like reflexes his left hand instinctively hit a random hold and he managed to just about grip on. Shaken but not finished he pushed on, and after a very shaky slap managed to reach the jug for a well deserved shake out. He regained his composure and released the pump, after which he followed in Gaz’s footsteps to cruise easily to the top. He clipped the chains marking his second 8a flash of the trip whilst also ticking off one of the most famous and classic routes in the world.  

We headed down to the café at the bottom of the crag for the boys to have a celebratory beer and also as an excuse to relive some of the moments from Buoux 8c. The place was fairly deserted since it’s not exactly tourist season but thi gave us an opportunity to meet Amelie and Emilie. Amelie owns/runs the café/hotel and after we told her what route we’d climbed she casually mentioned that her sisters husband had bolted and climbed a lot of hard stuff at Buoux. Clearly we asked who this was and it was none other than Antoine Le Menestrel!

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Once again, luck was on our side as when we were getting ready to leave the heavens opened and the crag was drenched. Had James or Gaz not climbed it first go then we may well have still been up there getting cold, wet, and eggy. The weather was one of the major concerns for this trip as it could have potentially ruined the entire concept of travelling around Europe to climb the best 8a routes. However, now that we’re exactly half way through we can report that the good weather is travelling with us and we’ve got our fingers crossed that it stays that way.

[pics will be forthcoming in the morning - it's 3:30am and we've just finished driving, the mobile data connection is pathetically slow and so I'm going to bed!]

04/21/2009

Webisode 2

We've been trapsing around for nearly 24 hours trying to find a decent enough internet connection to upload this new webisode, and at one point I nearly gave up hope. But it's darkest just before dawn and Gaz manned up to call his friend Louise at Mountaingirl who was kind enough to hook us up with a good enough connection to get it dunderdone!

So here it is... enjoy it. As always, click through to vimeo to watch it in HD!


Webisode 2 from unclesomebody on Vimeo.

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